“And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
Why Is Retirement Difficult for Some People?
Retirement is often imagined as a season of freedom, bucket‑list adventures, and long‑awaited relaxation. But for many people, even those who are financially secure, retirement can be a surprisingly difficult transition. It’s common to feel uncertain, unstructured, or even anxious as you shift from a career filled with routine and purpose into a phase of life with far fewer built‑in expectations.
If you—or someone you care about—are struggling to create structure, purpose, or meaningful activities in retirement, you are far from alone. Many retirees find it challenging to:
Manage their time and complete tasks efficiently
Build or maintain social relationships and social activities
Identify passions, interests, and meaningful ways to spend their retirement years
These challenges often relate to the executive functions, a set of cognitive processes that help us plan, organize, prioritize, and follow through. Understanding how executive functions impact retirement can help explain why this transition is harder than expected—and what can be done to make it easier.
How Long Can Retirement Last?
According to the CDC’s Mortality in the United States, 2024, men who reach age 65 can expect to live to 83.4, and women to 85 years of age. That means most people will spend around 20 years in retirement. Those years can be deeply meaningful—but only if retirees find ways to replace the structure, identity, and purpose that work once provided. Dr. Riley E. Moynes, in The Four Phases of Retirement, describes the emotional and psychological journey many retirees experience. His research shows that only 50–60% of retirees successfully create purpose and happiness in retirement. Below are the four phases he identifies.
What are the four phases of retirement?
Phase 1: The Vacation Phase
This is the retirement most people imagine: travel, hobbies, freedom, and the joy of doing what you want, when you want. For many, this phase feels energizing and liberating.
Phase 2: Lost & Loss
After the initial excitement fades, retirees may experience:
Loss of daily routine
Loss of identity
Loss of social connections
Loss of purpose
Loss of a sense of power or contribution
This phase can feel disorienting. Without structure, even enjoyable days can feel empty.
Phase 3: Trial and Error
This is the phase where retirees begin asking deeper questions:
What are my unique abilities?
What do I love to do—and do well?
How can I use my passions to make a difference?
Dr. Moynes encourages retirees to “Don’t retire—rewire!” But answering these questions requires clarity, planning, and follow‑through—skills tied directly to executive function. As mentioned earler, Dr. Moynes found that only 50–60% of retirees navigate this phase successfully.
Phase 4: Reinvent & Rewire
Retirees who reach this phase enjoy a meaningful, purpose‑driven retirement. They have created new routines, new identities, and new sources of fulfillment.
How Do Executive Functions Matter in Retirement?
Why do so many retirees get stuck in Phase 3? Because executive functions—the brain‑based skills that support planning, organizing, prioritizing, and self‑regulation—often decline when the external structure of work and responsibilities disappears. Executive function coaching helps retirees rebuild these skills by offering:
Consistent social support
Accountability
Tools for planning and organization
Strategies for managing time and tasks
Guidance for identifying meaningful goals
A coaching session typically includes identifying challenges, creating concrete action steps, and reflecting on what works. Sessions are personalized to each retiree’s needs, strengths, and life experience. Below are key areas where coaching can help.
Planning: Creating Daily Structure
Many retirees feel overwhelmed by unstructured time. A coach can help you:
Use calendars or planning tools
Break goals into manageable steps
Build routines that support well‑being
Try this exercise: Each morning, write down three things you want to accomplish. Choose one and schedule it—even if it’s just reading for 20 minutes or calling a friend. At day’s end, reflect on what you accomplished and how it felt. This simple practice builds structure and purpose.
Prioritizing: Reducing Overwhelm
Retirement offers endless choices, which can create decision paralysis. A coach can help you:
Identify what matters most
Compare options
Make decisions with confidence
Consider creating a short pros‑and‑cons list to bring clarity.
Purpose Clarification: Redefining Identity
After a career ends, many retirees struggle to answer, “Who am I now?” A coach can help you:
Explore your strengths
Identify your values
Connect your past experiences to future purpose
Tools like the VIA Character Strengths Survey can help clarify what brings meaning.
Community: Building Social Connection
Retirement often disrupts social networks. Some retirees move to other locations, others lose workplace relationships, and health changes can limit social options. Coaching provides:
Social interaction
Emotional support
Guidance for building new social connections
Coaching is done via Zoom, FaceTime, or phone, and can be adapted for retirees with hearing, vision, or mobility challenges.
How Can Executive Function Coaching Help Retirees Thrive?
Executive function challenges can make it difficult to build a fulfilling and inspiring retirement. Coaching offers structure, tools, and support to help retirees:
Organize their lives
Build meaningful routines
Set and achieve goals
Create purpose and joy in retirement
If you’re interested in Executive Function coaching, complete the Let’s Get Started Contact Form or call/text Dr. Perkins at (818) 239‑6182 for a free consultation. After you reach out, we’ll schedule a brief call to discuss your needs, answer questions, and help you understand what coaching looks like. Don’t let executive function challenges limit your Golden Years.
About Dr. Clarence Perkins
Dr. Clarence Perkins is an executive function and ADHD coach with 25 years of experience helping students and professionals improve productivity, organization, time management, and confidence. He founded his coaching practice in 2016 and specializes in personalized, evidence‑based strategies that build lasting habits and greater independence. Dr. Perkins holds a Doctorate in Education from Teachers College, Columbia University.